My mom had been vaccinated for 2 weeks so I took a train to see her this past March, not sure how I would do. The Lord kept me healthy and has been continuing to do so and next visit is booked for her birthday at the end of summer. Next year, I’m eligible for FMLA, and the plan is to make this trek for a few weeks every other month. I did ask to work remotely, and work gave me a hard no, but they also offered me an extra week for this upcoming trip.
One of my dear and wise friends who has known me a long time recommended me blog about the train trip – then another very dear and new friend here in Michigan suggested I share with the kid’s ministry praying for my mom to be born again and that journey. Today, in my time with Him (in Beth Moore’s Breaking Free), she had us in Gen 16, reading about Hagar, reflecting on her joy of sight from the One Who sees her, (most literally her response is the beautiful rhetorical question, “have I not gone on seeing after He saw me?”, I knew what aspect of Him with all this I needed to record.
My mom is an incredibly talented artist, reluctant to share her work and determined to blaze her own trail in San Francisco, in her own home as long as she can. I know, as born-again Christian, if the house is not submitted to Lord, I can’t live in it. I also want my mom to feel more seen than cast off, even though we have different beliefs about what pleases God. Only the Holy Spirit can make her feel so loved. My prayer, (and please join me in this), is that He will open both our eyes to how to allow His best in and His victory. I especially would love to see my mom freed up to want to share her work, though I know that’s not what she wants and I will honor that.
It’s getting trickier as her dementia has seemed to progress more this past year than before, but, after talking to many people who have either been through it or are nurses, He seems to be making a way as well as increasing the need for me to be nearer to her. The how is still getting worked out and it may shift. May the Lord keep me open to move with His Spirit and His overall plan. I am grateful to walk by faith in this.
And I too let myself be captive to fear. With all too much fear and uncertainty, and yet a stronger hope He would take care of us, I boarded the train for a three day trip last March, vaccinated, masked, and with my heaviest bag full of food. The train from Ann Arbor to Chicago had internet, and made me realize that when I need to take labs eventually, this will be a fantastic way to commute. He surprised me most with how deeply I slept to the gentle sway the second train, I had a sleeper car that rocked us all to sleep in the quiet hours from 10pm to 7 the next morning. They stopped so smokers could smoke and walkers could walk, but not too far so as not to miss the “All Aboard.” We got an entire hour in Denver, so I was able to restock on frozen veggies, and next time, I may try and plan a quick run. Overall, everything I was afraid of was like being afraid of the monster under the bed, it all vanished. I didn’t get sick. I had a great time and my one wish was that I could have made the trip longer. He was listening to my heart on that one too.
He has seen all of this, and me, and my mom. I didn’t trust Him much going in, but I’m all in now and going to wrap this entry up in prayer.
Lord Jesus, thank You for Your heart for all people. Thank You that You took on being human to chase after us. Thank You that You are the one that can and longs to see my mom. Keep me trusting in You with everything, as You have been so faithful to me in all things. Your track record is perfect. Forgive me for not remembering that. Help me to honor my mom, and point to You. Amen.
