Jimmy B House

BeforeEli 008

Slowly but surely the house is coming together. All the carpet is out and all my stuff is in. I’ve still tile to tear up in downstairs and then all the new flooring to put down up and downstairs. Some of my help disappeared but I’m praying daily and trust this will happen when its supposed to.

The best part of this is not knowing how its going to fall out. Most times I’m in the unknown I’m anxious and I hate it. Waiting on test results or praying for a suffering to pass for someone I love. But this is like waiting on when I get to alleviate suffering. It’s the reverse of other times I’ve felt on hold.

The responsibility is a little daunting but clinging to Scripture promises helps. As to the multiple passages where leaders remind God it’d look bad for him if things went south for His people.

Overall, there is a grace of peace and this strong sense its all His anyway. This has always been true but I’ve suffered from the delusion of holding on. Do I not need it anymore? Did it take Jim’s death to make me realize He’s all you can really hold onto anyway? I don’t know. Loving someone who won’t love back is just as hard as it ever was.

It also makes God’s love that much bigger of a deal to me.

Father God thank you for the amazing weather this summer. For a garden out back. Wood floors. For being able to stick somewhere. For good friends to be on the adventure with. Please continue to guide me into light and transform my heart to be ever more Yours.

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