beginnings

600px-Germinating_seedling

 

There are a few things I’ve noticed about growing things from seed.  I get very excited when they first sprout and it isn’t long before they open and are shooting up.  But they come to some fragile stage and most of what I’ve tried to grow dies.

Most of the women I have been working with, as I see them transition out, lose that fierce hope that no matter what they say, will become a different thing altogether once they have real choices to make.

My house is mostly empty and I’ve been working and praying on this for a little while now and feel very much like this seedling, not yet opened, just burst out the ground and a bit fragile.

I’m writing this blog to keep a record of the fact that I want faith that God won’t let me get smushed, wither away, or simply give up.

Today I had mostly to rest, reflect, read, listen to the rain on the roof, and pray.  The overall sense God gave me was not to miss this unique chapter.  And yes, He knows that  – as usual – I’m discontent with things the way they are, but that’s not so unusual, for me.  And the yes that I give Him in little ways as well as these bigs ones, should not escape my attention.

For now there’s no floor on my floor, very little furniture, and only a few noises of life –  Ari’s bell on her collar, and the crickets outside.

But I should not mistake the sparseness for being overlooked.  It’s just the vessel He will fill, He can use, He will work in.

Father God, I thank you for hope, promise and for the starts – as hard as it is to allow them because I have to accept what is done really is no longer in front of me.  But I also see, Lord, how you’ve woven the past into who I am am, and how both good and bad colors, creates, directs my  decisions and what it is I notice along the way.  Like the guest book wedding gift with only the names of my small wedding party.  Now it can be a real guest book for the ladies that will come to stay or go.  You are working it all together for good.  Grant i don’t even lose sight of that.  I look forward to Your next move.

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