Healthy tensions

tightrope-walker

There is a thirteen year old girl I’ve been taking out recently as her mom is in jail. I don’t know if she will be sentenced to more time or not, but regardless, this young girl’s home is not an good environment.

Her adult siblings were raised by her godmother, a woman very close to her mother who told me they are more like sisters and she’d do anything for that girl. The girl wants to be with her mom so doesn’t want to go to her godmother, but it’d be a healthy Christian home with good structure and so much safer than where she is.

I’m going to recommend signing guardianship, but I don’t know if this woman will welcome the idea. I may have to wait until after the sentencing. Meanwhile I can take the young girl to her former church, if she’s willing to go.

I’ve asked for help from my church but I am not clear if it will come. I’m praying for this young girl, her mom, her godmother, the churches I encounter but also for myself. This house has not even come close to being run, but I am starting to wonder if the Lord is shifting my own support network. I want to make no fast moves, nor would I want to move in a direction my husband wouldn’t want me to go, but he wouldn’t like how this is all falling out.

What I’ve learned as the insistence on doctrine, (doctrine I don’t reject but don’t fully agree with either) keeps resurfacing, is that my own beliefs have to acknowledge that His ways are not mine. I believe in grace and that all faith is God given and God initiated but just as strongly, I believe in the relational aspect of God, to be manifested among us with affection. There has to be a healthy tension between the favor God bestows and our response to His invite, regardless of our perception of how the relationship works. I just don’t see anything in the whole of Scripture that says it’s safest to nail down dogma and refuse to allow for the unknown. I see the opposite in our dynamic Creator, who surprises us with joy, blows our expectations out of the water, and lights up the dark. In order for the dark to be lit up, you have to be in the dark.

Father G-d, I trust just as you have given me a heart to do this work, you will supply the people in your boday you want me to work with. Grant that as I go, I am respectful and loving to everyone. Grant me also the wisdom and discernment to watch where Your Spirit moves and where the best circumstances for these struggling broken families can experience healing and restoration. Grant the space to heal and that the healing occurs with Your shepherds as well as Your sheep. Grant I move neither to the right or left, but stay on this difficult, narrow path, among these hurting and beautiful souls You long for. Amen.

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