Recently I was listening to a friend talk about someone he loved who was addicted to substances and his own powerlessness regarding the relationship, which was especially painful since he is a mentor to her son.
Intellectually, I know that only Gd can save her, show Himself to her, give her the grace to allow herself to be free. But listening and watching, it took everything I had to fight off the impulse to fix or save or do something. It required a death in his own self to admit he could do nothing and I too have to die to this idea and continue to trust Gd – making myself available should He give me the opportunity but ultimately to surrender the healing work to Him.
Thomas Green writes about a surrendered life as like floating. An active state requiring our complete focus, physical effort, and surrender. Listening last Sunday gave me this sense.
I stand in awe of His death, and it’s purpose. I am in doubt of my own ability to share in that, even though I know what’s. I pray He will continue to transform me.